Our Ridiculous Stand-In Mom

A few days of unsuccessful attempts of getting the ducks into the water, I "thought" I had a great idea. The ducks follow me where ever I go, particularly if I have food in hand, so won't they follow me into the canal? Dude, that canal is full of snakes, snapping turtles, & ginormous fish. Some residents have seen manatees. I am not going in there.
.....I need a boat.

This is about the dumbest idea I've ever had. However, it's the most I've ever laughed at myself. Thank goodness no one was out - I am an idiot to do what I did next.

I need "something" that can contain me. I'm not letting my legs dangle in that water! I went to the the pool store and bought a kids pool floatie that was a little boat. $12.99 - I can swing it. I tested it in the pool, and it held my weight. I took some of their food, wrangled my fat rump into this contraption and set sail. I started throwing food into the water.

NOTHING! They did nothing! There I was, in this stupid little craft, throwing food and they're looking at me in complete bewilderment. If only I could have taken a picture from my position onto the shore. They had no idea what the hell was going on.

I took a picture of the darn thing when I was unsuccessfully back on shore. How bloody embarrassing.

Yes, it came with an oar.... O_o


Tiffiny Felix said...

It was a good idea, though :) Have you seen "Fly Away Home"? It's your story, but with geese...keep up the great work! :)

Amanda said...

I wonder if you are going to have to actually put them in the water by lifting them up and physically putting them in there?

Be Kind said...

Tiffany, I LOVE that movie! I am going to rent it right now! I forgot about it!

Amanda - stay tuned. I have not exhausted my options! There is much more to come.

Lauren said...

This is hilarous! I can just imagine how funny you must have felt when they just stood there as you were in your little boat, "setting sail!" This story sounds like something I would have done so don't feel bad!

Be Kind said...

Thanks Lauren! I felt like such a dork! It was so darn funny. Thank goodness I have a sense of humor!:)